Extended family, neighbors, doctors and pediatricians, even random strangers at the mall … suddenly anyone and everyone wants to know, “Why homeschool? Why did you choose this?”
Of course, your answers are going to vary from situation to situation. Sometimes you need an in-depth explanation, and at others you just need that profound but simple one-liner as you continue whatever you were doing!
Just for fun, we’ve compiled a list of responses used from real-life homeschool moms around the Kansas City area. We’ve listed some pros and cons of each and even rated them regarding Time and Detail:
“We homeschool because it’s huge fun, and we love it!”
Time: Short (Our rating: 1 of 3)
Detail: Not much (Our rating: 1 of 3)
Pros and cons: While true, it may make people think homeschooling is a cakewalk or all day, every day at the park <ahem!>. There will be some tough times, too, just like with anything that’s worthwhile.
“Well, why do you choose public school/private school/etc.?”
Time: Short, but it depends on the answer (Our rating: 2 of 3)
Detail: Not much (Our rating: 1 of 3)
Pros and cons: Answering a question with a question is almost always thought-provoking! Be prepared, though, to take some time listening to the response and really encourage discussion, so they realize you’re not being defensive or out to get them. 🙂
“Nothing beats the one-on-one tutoring for effective education.”
Time: Short (1 of 3)
Detail: Not much (1 of 3)
Pros and cons: This is absolutely true, and as a homeschool alumna, I think it one of the best parts of my experience! However, it may sound a trifle defensive or even insensitive, given that not everyone can afford one-on-one tutoring.
“We think it’s the best choice given our family’s goals.”
Time: Short (1 of 3)
Detail: A little, but it can leave room for more discussion (2 of 3)
Pros and cons: Rose Gerringer suggested this response in a “How to Homeschool” workshop. By leaving the answer open-ended like this, it does mean people can then ask what your family’s goals are. It’s also a gentle response that doesn’t have to sound defensive.
“I know my kids better than some stranger who has to take care of 30 other kids.”
Time: Short (1 of 3)
Detail: Not much (1 of 3)
Pros and cons: Hard to argue with this one! 🙂 However, some people may think it a little snarky. Just sayin’.
“Homeschooling is like parenting. You can’t know what it’s like until you’re actually doing it.”
Time: Longer (2 of 3)
Detail: A little, but it can leave room for more discussion (2 of 3)
Pros and cons: A lovely response! How could anyone argue with that? Just as every parenting style varies, so does every homeschool style. Notice that it doesn’t really answer the question, but sometimes your answer can be so brilliant that nobody really minds …
“Because we live in a country where we all have the freedom to choose the best type of education for our kids.”
Time: Longer (2 of 3)
Detail: A little, but it can leave room for more discussion (2 of 3)
Pros and cons: The beauty of this answer lies in a positive spin on what can be a negative-sounding question. Note that we didn’t say homeschooling is the only best type of education! And it also emphasizes the educational rights we enjoy as homeschoolers. Perhaps some hearers may think you’re being flippant, but if it has the right tone of voice, it can be just the response you need.
“We’ve tried private, public and homeschool, and this is the best fit for my children at this time.”
Time: Longer (2 of 3)
Detail: A little, but it can leave room for more discussion (2 of 3)
Pros and cons: While this answer works only for families who have indeed tried multiple approaches to education, it shows a lot of experience, thought and planning went into the decision. Sometimes that’s the best response to someone who may think you’re homeschooling only because you’re … well, just weird.
“We’re thankful to have the option to homeschool. We don’t want someone else raising our children and instilling their values we don’t agree with.”
Time: Longer (2 of 3)
Detail: A little, but it can leave room for more discussion (2 of 3)
Pros and cons: This gets to the heart of the matter for many homeschoolers – the question of where children will get their values and learn their life lessons. Use with caution, though, as some people may misinterpret your reply to think you aren’t open to anyone whose values differ from yours.
“I love my children, and being WITH them. As the primary influence in their lives, I want to make the best decisions for their future. I’m not comfortable passing that much influence to someone else.”
Time: Epic (3 of 3)
Detail: Outstanding (3 of 3)
Pros and cons: This is a great way to highlight the passion you have for your children, and for their education. Be prepared, though, just in case you’re talking with another mom who reacts defensively and thinks you’re somehow insinuating she DOESN’T love her children as much as you just because she doesn’t homeschool.
“I’m so grateful for the opportunity to homeschool. Watching my child learn how to read/write/etc. has been as amazing as watching them walk for the first time, and I get to have a front-row seat.”
Time: Epic (3 of 3)
Detail: Outstanding (3 of 3)
Pros and cons: I like how this response focuses on the personal joys of homeschooling and doesn’t sound confrontational at all. It may not focus as much on the academic benefits or the reasons per se, but sometimes that’s all you need to get the questioner to start rethinking their stance.
This blog post was originally published in September 2014. It has been updated for timeliness and detail.
What’s your favorite response to the “Why homeschool” question? Do you have one we didn’t list?
I often responded with a variation on the “tutoring” answer.
Tutoring is the first choice of kings, because it is a very effective method for all types of children. We will never have the pocketbook of royalty, but it’s sure nice that there is one royal choice that we can afford. Home education combines tutoring with affordability. That makes both the educator side and the tightwad side of me smile. 🙂
Haha – love it! Yes, so true. 🙂 Homeschooling is both a royal and extremely affordable choice!
It is also important to note the difference between two similar, but different questions.
“Why do you homeschool?”
“Should I homeschool?”
More often than not, the first question is asked by someone who really feels that they can’t homeschool, and is hoping for confirmation. That person is apt to take offense at responses that focus on homeschooling as the optimal choice in education and exceptional parenting.
Be sensitive. That mom is likely more interested in your opinion of her as a mom who doesn’t homeschool than she is in your opinion of homeschooling. I can’t recall how many times in the past 30 years that I have seen this happen. When I am able to tell remind that parent of the ways she helps her children through the tough parenting choices that come with sending her children to public school, she visibly relaxed. She is even more open to learning how she might be able to homeschool in spite of the cons.
Look behind the question to the mom who is standing in front of you. She probably has insecurities like the rest of us. She needs to know that you are someone who doesn’t look down on her for choosing a different path.
I love the answers above about spending time with the kiddos. However, pertaining to academics, here’s another one: “Homeschooling gives us flexibility that we couldn’t get anywhere else: flexibility to let the kids learn at their own pace, explore their own passions, and really learn who they are as individuals.”