Israel Wayne knew he had just touched a nerve about parenting when members in his audience began sobbing and weeping.
The director of Family Renewal was speaking at a conference on the importance of affirming children by speaking words that build up, not tear down. In the speech, he happened to mention the devastating effects of anger in parenting.
In response, people began to weep – and he’s seen the same result over the last four or five years.
“This message is resonating with parents because it’s universal,” he said. “Every parent struggles with it.”
The end result was a new book, Pitchin’ a Fit! Overcoming Angry, Stressed-out Parenting. We discussed the book (and several parenting questions from our homeschool community) with Israel Wayne on May 24 (video below):
This was a great opportunity for all homeschool parents to learn from a family who’s been, and still is, in the trenches.
As homeschool graduates and parents of nine children, Israel and his wife, Brook, have firsthand experience with the constant juggle of parenting, homeschooling and managing the rest of life!
In the video, Israel discusses the following:
- Why he and Brook decided to write the book. At his conference speeches, he hears from parents frequently about how stressed they feel parenting has become. Several factors such as financial troubles, marital and family relationships, health issues and work situations all come into play. While the book is theologically based on what Scripture has to say regarding stress and anger, “we wanted it to be practical as well.” They’re already hearing from families about how this book has changed their lifestyles. (00:00-6:20)
- Question: “I’m interested on tips for being a good parent when I am dealing with the heavy load of single parenting and grief myself (widowed). It is very difficult some days to find the energy it takes to be all my kids need me to be. Plus my tolerance for stress is lower right now, slowly increasing, but still lower than it should be. So I find myself shutting down on those tough days as a result of my own struggles. That’s not fair to my kids. I need to keep being an active parent even if the tough days haunt me.” (7:15-22:30)
- Question: “Do you own an RV? (Inside joke for Israel.)” (22:35-23:34)
- Question: “I loved Brook’s comments on negative self talk in Chapter 5. Very helpful. … What was the hardest part of the book for you to write? So many parents think perfection is the goal.” (23:35-29:37)
- Question: “We have seen our teens grow more and more attached to their phone and social media. Any helpful tips on how to wean teens from this growing addiction?” (29:40-31:55)
- Question: “Is that really your library or Photoshop?” (32:00-34:07)
- Question: “Do you find that homeschoolers face some stressors / expectations that other parents may not necessarily face? For example, spending time with kids 24/7 as opposed to working outside the home? Or facing relatives who may not agree with their decision to homeschool?” (34:20-39:30)
- Question: “I really liked Brook’s comments on patience. It doesn’t mean being a doormat. What else can you share about patience.” (39:30-41:34)
- Questions: “I’m afraid I’ve ruined my relationship with my children through anger. Is there hope?” and “Do you have any tips for parents who feel like they’ve already blown it in this area and are estranged from their now adult children?” (41:35-46:08)
- Question: “Any tips for grandparents who see parenting needs in their adult children? We thought about leaving a copy of your book on their table. :-)” (46:10-48:27)
- Question: “We want to maintain unity in our marriage, but often have different ideas on parenting choices. How can opposites parent?” (48:30-51:35)
Israel Wayne has spoken at our homeschool conference before. As an author and frequent writer for several publications (including Home School Digest and Home School Enrichment), he is passionate about teaching others to defend the Christian faith and develop a Biblical worldview.
Bonus: To learn more about this book, check out this podcast by Shaun Tabatt and a book review by April Nourse, one of our own MPE members!